wishful thinking

I need to write this down. I was thinking of quitting my job and joining Teach for Malaysia program. I am inspired by those people. I want to contribute. I want to do something. All these weird urges came to me when I was writing my scientific report last night. I was really frustrated as I felt I wasn't contributing much. I feel like I'm letting my nation down by not doing anything. I want to do something for other people.

I remember back when I was home for summer 2009, our club organized buka puasa for the less fortunate kids in town. I remember coming home feeling satisfied, tho I was super tired. I want to feel that again. Contentment.

But I'm stuck with my life-long contract with my institution. So I asked my friend to burn it down so I can join him and go for Teach for Malaysia. Or build houses somewhere pedalaman.

Why did I feel this way? Wasn't I happy with things? And for some reason, I feel empty inside from all these.