love what now?

she sat alone in a booth,

coffee in one hand,

pen in the other -

pouring her heart out, 

writing her thoughts,

trying to deliver her feelings.

for the past weeks, 

her life has been disarrayed since;

she tried to figure things out

of where to start,

or where to stop,

it was all tangled,

the feelings and thoughts.

what has happened

she herself could not answer,

she's fluttered by situation,

lost her words by feelings;

lost herself to a bet,

painted a picture but it was never clear - 

dreamt about a guy.

she even suffered in her sleep

because in her dream itself,

she could not own what she wanted the most -

to hold him close to her.

it was never easy;

it was never easy being her,

thoughts unclear,

judgements clouded;

by the unrequited love.

- f.k