insignificant figure you've become

warning: this will be the longest entry i have ever posted.

photos credit to Sakina. so you probably won't see her face that much. sorry Kinakun!

Day 4 - Central Park, Zoo, 33rd St

Day 3 - Madame Tussauds, Ripley's, Bubba Gump's, Time Square

Day 1 -Statue of Liberty, Time Square

trip to NYC with the girls was totally awecool. enough to make me forget about things and i left everything behind. well apart from the stupid thoughts of that someone. urgh. it's not worth it. really. but i enjoyed it. i mean the trip, not the thoughts. but not to brag about it. it'll be such a long entry if i were to describe everything that happened. comman phrase, what happened in NYC, stays there. no leak this time ok. confirmed. but not the loser things we've done la. i can tell you what each of us did to be such a loser but i'm too tired to reach for the memory right now. it would be better if i show you the pictures as they can say a thousand things. *wink*

sometimes we say things. and unintentionally hurt ones' feelings. we don't know. and will never know.

i had this short but hurtful conversation with this one friend of mine. not necessary to mention any name here. enough with the pain. i didn't know what has gotten into me - suddenly being so sensitive. i took things personally. i knew he didn't mean to hurt me and will never know that he HAD done it. but well, i tried to be positive. maybe what he said was what he felt. i don't know. and i don't care. ok i lied. i do care. i care about how people treat me. and the way they talk to me. as i don't like people mad at me. i just can't. but i know. it's all come back to "nobody is perfect".

but later, my other guy friend told us something more hurtful for me to hear. i hold back. til now. and i spilled it to my girl friend. cos i've been waiting for Dila to call me but she's too busy preparing for Black Friday. so yeah Dila, do claim that story later ok. *sigh* i really need to get back into the circle. and desperately in need of entertainment. thank God JiJi called and asked me to have dinner with them. i was happy then. to see them friends. well at least i don't compare people. not nice. na'ah.

before....and after?
if i was being too nice to people, maybe i should try harsh action. and see what they'll do.
if i was being such a generous and forgive people so easily, maybe i should try locking up my heart and be strong.
if i was being this and be that, i'll be dead by then.

but i believe. that as the season changes, people might as well change. for better or for worse. we just need to accept. whoever that is. and bear with them.

sorry Mior if i'm being tooo ABSTRACT in expressing my thoughts and feelings. kalau tak paham takpe la. you're one of the watak sampingan je pun. don't worry.

p/s i break my heart in an attempt to hate you. and i hate myself for that as well.

♥ pao ♥