Al-fatihah

Salam folks,

I've been crying my eyes out for the past few hours by now. My atuk died from an accidents at 10+PM waktu Malaysia. And I still can't accept the fact that he's gone. I just met him few days before I went back. Tuhan maha berkuasa. It's written up there.

Ada hikmah aku balik Summer 2009.

Mari bersama-sama bacakan Al-fatihah untuk arwah, didoakan insyaAllah roh beliau ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang beriman dan semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat Allah, insyaAllah. Ameen.

Al-fatihah....

I know I should be reciting surah Yassin over and over again to my late grandfather. But I can't, at the moment. Thus, I keep playing bacaan surah Yassin on youtube.

"Ada hikmah di sebalik setiap kejadian" and I guess that answers why I made decision to go back home last Summer. I met him for the last time. I can't keep that thought off me. I know we shouldn't meratapi kematian seseorang, but I'm weak.

Last year I went back not to see my other grandfather belah ayah. This year I went back to meet my mom's father for the last time. I could never talk to him anymore. I called him yesterday but my nenek said he was asleep. He didn't want to be bothered. And each time I think about that, I can't stop myself from crying again, and again.

I told him that I'm gonna come back again next year, for good. And he said "Kakak Na balik la, nanti kite boleh raye same-same." Tell me people, how can I stop myself from crying? I guess Allah dah takdirkan jodoh pertemuan kami. Innalillah.

Who's gonna take care of my nenek? She doesn't know how to ride a motorcycle. Who's gonna go to pasar and beli ikan? Who's gonna go to kedai beli ubat nyamuk? Who's gonna go to kebun and bersihkan rumput? I can't handle this.

I need to be strong.